The · whole · truth · and · nothing · but · the · truth

I'm not sure why I wanted post today. I know it was about something, but while I was just thinking about it I realised that it would be slightly odd as there is a change between the person who wrote those last entries and the person writing them now.

I don't know if I could call it change. More along the lines of an awareness within me. I guess I better start at the beginning huh?

A few weeks back I was reading a very detailed account of the social causes of the French Revolution. Somewhere I felt that the commoners were very clear that they wanted freedom, but their problem was they didn't know what they were going to do with it. And when I was writing an essay arguing that very statement, I realized that I was making that very same mistake.

Throughout my adolescence I was always demanding freedom - from religion, from inequality, from the maddening irrationality that seemed to suffocate me. But I had never once questioned what I planned to do with that freedom. Or rather what I could do with that freedom that I can't now.

I have no concrete definition of reality. I even wonder if my dreams are more real than my waking life. But what I do know that is real is that I am free. Have been since the moment I started asking 'Why?'. While it may not be the physical freedom I craved once, it's an emotional independence that I love.

I used to think that freedom meant living without chains. But I now agree with Rousseau when he said that freedom is the power to choose your own chains.